"If there ever were a test of our faith - if there ever were a test of the motives of our worship - it is when a storm rolls into our lives. Sometimes God calms our storms. Sometimes He chooses to ride them with us." quote by Casting Crowns
Praise you in this Storm
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
And stepped in and saved the day
Once again, I say Amen, and it is still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear you whisper through the rain
I'm with you
As your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll Praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
You are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will Praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find you
I lift my eyes into the hills
Where does my help come from
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth
So life has definitely gone caddywompus on us in the last month or so. Bryan and I have been listening to Casting Crowns a lot and we feel like the song above totally says where we're at right now. A ways back we found out that Bryan wouldn't have a job at Nike starting May 31st. They ended up moving the date up to April 2nd, so Monday will be his last day at Nike after working there for 6.5 years. I am seriously bummed about this. I don't know why, but I thought that he would be there till he retired. Shows that God may have a different plan than mine huh?! Nothings to stay that he won't get another job at Nike. He was just talking to our neighbor today about a friend of his that was let go and then called back a month later asking him to come back. So who knows? Bryan could get back into Nike OR he may not?? This has all been sort of surreal and I feel like I need to grieve this part of our lives some how, but it just hasn't come. Normally I would be FREAKING OUT and worrying, but I have this peace and it can only come from God.
In the midst of Bryan losing his job I have entered my third trimester and things have sort of shifted for me. The first and second have been sort of a breeze and my BP has been under control and my pregnancy has been pretty smooth considering what my sister went through with hers. The meds that I've been on aren't cutting it anymore and my BP has been high. I've been living at the hospital lately and seeing my dr and a specialist twice a week. Thankfully the little guy is doing great and he's exactly where he should be right now. When I spent a little over 24 hours in the hospital to get my BP under control about a week ago the had me change one prescription to 3 times a day instead of 2 and they put me on strict bed rest. SO now not only does Bryan not have a job as of Monday, after my PTO goes through I will no longer be getting pay checks from my work until after I come back from maternity leave. I have talked to HR and proposed to them that I stay on the bed rest until the little guy is born and then I will take 3 months off. So I will be off work for about 5 months which is almost half a year. eeks!
A friend in her blog said that "God answers prayers. I love when I'm reminded of this in a very tangible way." This is SO true!!! When I went to our Women's Retreat in Feb the speaker gave us paper to write one thing down on it that we would like to nail to the cross. I wrote Worry/Fear/Anxiety...since nailing it to the cross I have totally felt like God has answered my prayer to take that away. I still struggle some days, but like I said before I just have this peace that God is in control and that he's going to provide. He gives and he takes away. He is who He is no matter where I am.
Just the other day my mom gave Bryan and I an envelope with our names on it. They spelled Bryan's name wrong and it was typed on the envelope not written. We opened it and there was a card in it with the verse
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
The verse was typed in the card as well. It had an official check in it for $250. I was so overwhelmed that it moved me to tears. Things like this have never happened to me before. It is just another reminder that God is going to provide.
Bryan also went to get his haircut this past Thursday and Marcello our stylist gave him two gift certificates. One for Bryan for a free haircut and one for me for a free haircut AND COLOR. She said that it was baby shower gifts for us.
I can't even express what these mean to me. It's just so overwhelming and amazing to see God work!
So you can call me Mrs. Couch Potato because for the past week and a half and for the next 2 months I am on bed rest until our little guy comes out to meet us! :o)
