Waiting...

Our 6 month emergency forbearance ended. We're having to apply for the loan mod again and there have been a lot of ups and downs these last few weeks. Right now it's in for approval and so we wait and we pray.
This seriously has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. It's scary, frustrating, humbling, humiliating, suffocating etc.

Lord, I'm overwhelmed. I don't have time, patience, money, sleep, rest, or peace right now. I'm not sure what's going to happen next or how we'll get through. I feel stuck. I'm not sure how to ride the waves instead of being trampled by them. I want the best for the people I love, but stress and worry keeps me from being my best self. Help me meditate on Your truths.

'In ALL things give thanks' - 1 Thess 5:18

Be grateful for the things that feel like they will crush you. Be grateful for the challenges in life that bring you to your knees. Every time they happen, you will ripen, grow, build strength, clarity, momentum and be better prepared for the next. Repeated crashing waves eventually turn jagged edges into smooth stones.

"Sometimes we are "healed" not by being freed of suffering, but by being given the strength to endure"

'But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.' - Isaiah 40:31

'For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.' -Jeremiah 29:11-13

'But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.' -Philippians 3:13-14

'Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.' -Philippians 4:4-8

'Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.' -Proverbs 3:5-10

'But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.' -Galatians 5:22

'The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.' -Lamentations 3:22-23

'Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.' -Psalm 105:4

'Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.' -Proverbs 19:21

'Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.' -Joshua 1:7-9

'Make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.' -Colossians 4:5-6

'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' -Mark 12:30

'Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.' -Proverbs 16:3

'Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!' -2 Corinthians 5:17

'In Him will I trust: He is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my Savior.' - 2 Samuel 22:3

'May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ' --Romans 15:13

I cast all my cares upon you
I lay all of my burdens down at your feet
and anytime I don't know what to do
I will cast all my cares upon you.

'A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.' -Ezekiel 4:12

'Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.' -Romans 12:12

'In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation' -Psalm 5:3-4

"Lift Me Up" - The Afters

You lift me up with your love
You lift me up with your love
You lift me up with your love
You lift me up

Waiting for the sunrise
Waiting for the day
Waiting for a sign
That I’m where you want me to be

You know my heart is heavy
And the hurt is deep
But when I feel like giving up
You’re reminding me
That we all fall down sometimes
But when I hit the ground

You lift me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around me
Your love catches me so I’m letting go
You lift me up when I can’t see
Your heart is all that I need
Your love carries me so I’m letting go

You lift me up with your love
You lift me up with your love
You lift me up with your love
You lift me up

I know I’m not perfect
I know I make mistakes
I know that I have let you down
But you love me the same

And when I’m surrounded
When I lose my way
When I’m crying out and falling down
You are here to

Lift me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around me
Your love catches me so I’m letting go
You lift me up when I can’t see
Your heart is all that I need
Your love carries me so I’m letting go

I can see the dawn is breaking
I am feeling overtaken with your love
With your love
I don’t know what I can offer
In this moment I surrender to your love
To your love

You lift me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around me
Your love catches me so I’m letting go

You lift me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around me
Your love catches me so I’m letting go
You lift me up when I can’t see
Your heart is all that I need
Your love carries me so I’m letting go

I can see the dawn is breaking
I am feeling overtaken with your love

You lift me up with your love
You lift me up with your love
You lift me up with your love
You lift me up

"The River" - Brian Doerksen

To the river I am going bringing sins I cannot bear
Come and cleanse me, come forgive me Lord I need to meet you there

In these waters, healing mercy flows with freedom from despair
I am going, to that river Lord I need to meet you there

Precious Jesus, I am ready to surrender every care
Take my hand now, lead me closer Lord I need to meet you there

Come and join us, in the river Come find life beyond compare
He is calling, He is waiting Jesus longs to meet you there
He is calling, He is waiting Jesus longs to meet you there

Precious Jesus, I am ready to surrender every care
Take my hand now, lead me closer Lord I need to meet you there
Take my hand now, lead me closer Lord I need to meet you there

Things I never want to forget #35-#40

ALL JAYCE

35. Gabe and I were gone all day, May 2nd. Bryan was home with Jayce. He worked with him on turning around to go down the stairs. It's too cute for words how he crawls to the top of the stairs, goes flat on his belly and scoots around to slide down on his belly. NOW even though he does this, I by no means leave him alone...just saying. ;)

36. Jayce loves these rings. When we get down to play they are one of the first things he goes for. I never want to forget how he crawls around the house with them in his hands.



37. Bittersweet feeling. We're done nursing. He's pretty much weaned himself. He's more interested in what we eat. I had a love/hate relationship with nursing. I really disliked it at first and then I actually ended up really liking it. I'm a little sad, but feel ok about it at the same time.

38. Jayce wasn't feeling well for Janell's birthday party on June 16th. He had a slight fever and just looked awful. At dinner I noticed a little white tooth poking out on the upper left and it all made sense. Jayce beat Gabe by two months and it's funny to me because they both got the upper front teeth before the bottom.
Poor little man is popping them out quick now too because Bryan noticed the top right cut this last Monday and I see a little white one peaking on the bottom left.

39. He's been cruising for a while now and he'll stand not holding onto anything for a good amount of time. He took his first two steps for Aunt Julie on Tuesday the 21st and took four for me the next day. I was SO excited I scared the poor fellow.

40. Jayce gets really excited when daddy gets home. He smiles really big, screams, throws is head down and charges for him. He looks like a bull dog with his big paws kinda turned in. It's the cutest thing ever!

We don't need a girl, we already have our drama queen.