Well we made it through the first week of the new changes. Everyone is adjusting pretty nicely. Bryan is really enjoying being back at Nike! I have to say all these changes were a little hard for me at first. I've never been a person who does well with change. It just takes some getting used too.
I didn't know that I would be so emotional about Bryan not being with Gabe on Wednesday's and Thursday's. Gabe has been very lucky to have his daddy around so much in the beginning of his life. Bryan was with us for the first 6 months of Gabe's life. Gabe had a lot of daddy bonding time and when Bryan went back to work it was only part time. Then they had daddy/son day's every Wednesday and Thursday's. I am so glad that Gabe is now with Teresa and Kam those day's, I feel so blessed to have so many people that are willing to help us out since I have to work. I'm just sad that they won't have those days together anymore.
The roof is almost finished. We had a few days of rainy weather so that slowed things down. Today they put up the new cutters. I'm pretty sure that by the end of the weekend or beginning of next week we'll have a new roof. ((thumbs up))
Gabe did really well with Aunt Teresa this week. He slept well for her at nap time, ate well (except for the lemon blueberry muffins I made. He HATES blueberry's) and they had fun hanging out. He loves Aunt Teresa and Kambrie. He smiles and gets excited when he sees Kambrie. It's very cute!
OK so the title of this post "Letting go"...A couple weeks ago we had a guest speaker at church and I really liked him. At one part of his sermon he talked about a missionary couple that had a ton of kids and every time they would pray and give them up to God. Basically, let go of them and give complete control to God. My mom had a hard time letting go of us three girls and I never really truly understood that until I had Gabe. All a mother wants to do is protect her child from everything, anything that could hurt them. You can't! If you think you have control, you don't!
I say this because lately Gabe has been falling a lot! A LOT! He's walking better but he still falls and almost every time he does he hits his head hard! I WANT CONTROL! I want to somehow prevent this! I can't. Tonight I lost it! He has this huge bruise on his head from falling at moms today and then as I was getting out of the truck tonight, I was squeezing between the car and truck door. Bryan was shutting the door and I thought I was in the clear but nope...WHAM! I hit Gabe's head on the mirror. He starts crying immediately. I feel horrible. He's safe and sound asleep in his bed probably doesn't even remember that his mom whammed his head on the side mirror but I can't stop crying.
Is this normal? I don't know if I just don't pay attention, but I don't see other kids hitting their head on everything. I don't know if I just have this paranoia from when I was watching Kaleb and Garren one time? (Long story short - We were getting into my car and it was pouring down rain. Kaleb was stepping into my car and his shoe slipped and he fell and hit his head on my car. HUGE black, red and blue welt within seconds. He cried, I cried...HORRIBLE I thought he was going to die) Am I the only one whose whammed their kids head? I feel like I am.
I probably sound like a lunatic right now. I am just tired of it. I don't want him to hurt anymore. I hate looking at the bumps and bruises. I'm sure worse things are going to happen over the years...I guess I just feel like it's my responsibility to make sure that he's ok. I don't feel like I've done a good job at it. :(
Letting go of the control that I feel like I need to have is going to be harder then I thought.
4 comments:
Jenny - don't worry!! I bump Ethan's head all of the time getting out of the car. And he has bruises up and down his legs from climbing up on everything and down cement stairs, etc. My advice is try to to react too much because then when they are older they sometimes cry anytime they even when they are not hurt. They need to learn how to fall.
And now you know why I cried for about a WEEK after I was on duty and K fell down ALL of our stairs, and landed on the hard wood floor. Bruise on her head, cut lip. She cried for 3 minutes, I cried for 3 days (or more) As a parent it pains us to see our kids in pain (see my blog post from yesterday, even emotional pain makes us sad to see our kids go through) I think as a parent you just want your child to always be safe and happy, but we know that isn't how it is going to go. Thanks to sin, and thanks to imperfection.
Gabe is OK. He knows his mommy and daddy love him, and many others. He is in a secure consistent environment. Dont look lightly on those things. They mean a LOT.
Today, at my friends house, Owen fell down the stairs. It was only like 6 steps, but he TUMBLED down them, and they are hard wood. *sigh*
I held him until he stopped crying but then let him continue playing. I learned with Dylan that if I make a big deal out of it, so will they...even when it's not. ;-)
And no, you're not the only mom to wham your kids head.... I have knocked all three of their heads into door frames when they were LITTLE LITTLE. Holding them cradle style and I turned too short and BAM...hit their new little heads on the doorframe. LAME!
All you can control is how you react when he gets his bumps and bruises. And really, that makes a world of difference. ;-)
Thank you, girls. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
It means a lot what you all said.
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